Key West Florida Weekly

Barb Sage is probably listening to an erotic audiobook while she paints mannequin limbs




 

Barbara “Barb” Sage is the owner of Sage Marketing and the colorful explosion of body parts and household items that comprise Whimsy Key West. After sobering up at 21 and entering a flurry of marriage, childbirth and domestic life, she has made this island home for over 20 years. Now, we take one of her mannequin arms and prod her on what propelled her to sobriety, her extensive collection of erotic audiobooks, and what exactly is the most difficult limb to paint.

Kevin Assam: When life gives you lemons, is it your responsibility to paint them in even more vibrant shades and figures?

Barb Sage: Without a doubt. I’ve been through it all: divorce, parental death, being a single mom and my daughter’s drug addiction. The list goes on. If it wasn’t for this amazing island, I wouldn’t have made it this far. I’m not unique in lemons. We all have them. Life on life’s terms — and its lemons — brought art into my life.

Whimsy Key West is Barb Sage’s newest creative venture. COURTESY PHOTO

Whimsy Key West is Barb Sage’s newest creative venture. COURTESY PHOTO

KA: What were the earliest objects you found yourself trying to rework or improve as an adolescent?

BS: I have no clue. I was a drunken train wreck throughout my adolescence. I quit drinking when I was 21. I remember anything after that! (Laughs)

KA: Is part of the allure of alcohol its presentation and aesthetics? It can be a beautiful thing, right?

BS: I’m sure that’s part of it for some. When I drank, it was Boone’s Farm Strawberry Hill, “Mad Dog” 20/20, and “Natty Boh.” I was young and was more looking for the effect. I loved bars and clubbing in Baltimore and D.C. That’s what the people I hung out with did.

I grew up in Annapolis, Md. My household was normal. My parents were together. We lived in a nice neighborhood. My dad worked for Pepsi and my mom was a waitress. Dinner was on the table every night. Vacation was once a year. Everyone always hung out at my house because it was easy to sneak out. My first year of high school, we moved to Arnold to “keep me out of trouble.” That didn’t work out well for my parents and after high school they moved to Severna Park and I kept going to Baltimore. I lived and bartended in downtown Baltimore until I moved to Key West around 1998.

KA: What happened when you were at the edge of 17?

BS: The edge of 17. Let’s see. My first DWI. According to the judge — since I blacked out — I was crossing a major intersection in Baltimore and stopped in the middle of the street. Foot on the clutch. Car in gear. Napping! They couldn’t wake me. Apparently, given the amount of alcohol in my system, I should have been dead but I woke up and was functioning. I don’t remember most of that. Probably should have been the first red flag, don’t you think? (Laughs)

KA: What prompted the move to Key West?

BS: I had been bartending on Federal Hill for years and in Maryland everyone goes to Ocean City for the summer. I came here on vacation and took a two month leave of absence while things were slow. I loaded up my dog and came here to take time for me. Next thing I knew, I met a guy, bought a house, got married, had a baby and didn’t end up going home. That was a little over 20 years ago! I’ve been sober 25 years as of June.

KA: Is the idea of a domestic goddess outdated?

BS: My house needs to be in order for me to think straight. However, I can’t cook to save my life.

KA: How much of your kitchen related fiascos do you imagine have harmed the environment?

BS: Most likely all of them! Twice, the fire department has come to my house because the oven caught on fire.

KA: How would you score Key West’s report card on grappling with environmental conservation?

BS: Key West is amazing when it comes to doing our part. Maybe it’s just the amazing people I’m surrounded by, but I feel there’s something always going on to clean and protect our environment.

KA: Tell me about these dirty audiobooks you frequently purchase.

BS: Ahh, my books! That’s my guilty pleasure. I read a ridiculous amount. All dirty. At one point, I’m sure I had the largest dirty book collection in the Florida Keys. Then I discovered the Amazon Kindle and could immediately have the next in the series. I love instant gratification. I listen to the audiobooks while I’m working on my art at night or between guest houses during the day. I have about 600 audiobooks. That’s insane by anyone’s standards.

KA: What do these erotic audiobooks get right that the surplus of adult entertainment videos does not?

BS: I don’t watch a lot of porn so I’m not sure. I read it under the guise of romance. Odd since I’m a visual person. It’s the fantasy of it. It’s an escape, which many books that you read for fun already are. I suppose both end with a happy ending.

KA: You’re a marketer. Do you present Key West as a hyper-fast path to “instant” gratification?

BS: Not at all. I’m more old school. My job is to build personal relationships with the companies I represent and the guest houses, hotels and booths from here to Big Pine. I go into each guest house and let them know what’s going on with the companies I represent. We catch up on everything while I’m there. After ten years, they know me and I know them. I love the fact that I get paid to go talk to people I like seeing. They love seeing me because I often have money for them! They have become family and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them.

KA: Was “Fifty Shades of Grey” any good?

BS: I read it in two days on a ferry on my way to the BVIs. I liked it. Hated the movie though. WTF was up with those actors? I’ve seen more heat on HBO!

KA: How much power does the concierge network wield here?

BS: When I was a concierge many years ago, a local company owner came in. He proceeded to tell me why I “better” book him. He was rude as shit. This was before concierge desks were run by certain companies. I picked his book up off the desk and told him that if he spoke to guests the way he had just spoken to me, he would never see a dime from that hotel. I dropped his shit in the trash. Period. He never got a booking out of that hotel while I was there and I still think he’s a tool to this day. Who talks to people like that?

KA: How idle were you when you launched Whimsy Key West?

BS: No one would use the word “idle” for anything regarding me. I’m a go-er. I’ve been painting mannequins for a long time and started Whimsy Key West at the encouragement of two artist friends. I thought because I didn’t have an art background that I wasn’t considered an artist. I was doing commissioned fun stuff for people but not charging much because I didn’t feel worthy — or whatever nonsense I told myself. In February, I made my art public and went into it feeling that if people liked it, I will sell it. It’s been a period of discovering my worth and learning that the marketing for my art is very different from what I do during the day. There’s a reason people pay people for websites and social media because that’s a full-time job! I’ve worked my day job then come home, wanted dinner, showered and worked in some form on Whimsy till 2 a.m. almost every night since. There’s always something to do!

KA: Do you paint your creations onto mannequins because you secretly feel alone and want the company?

BS: (Laughs) No. I’m surrounded by people all day. I need to balance it with quiet at home. I started painting the mannequins after I got one at a yard sale. I wanted to see if I could paint it after driving it around in my car for a week because that was too fun not to do. Mannequins were easy to work on because I could work on one piece at a time. An arm here. A leg there.

KA: What body part is the most difficult to paint?

BS: Hands! Lots of cracks and crevices. The most fun are bent mannequins. Friends would walk in and see a lady with her ass in the air on my couch. My home is an interesting place!

KA: If we played an island-wide game of “I Spy” with Whimsy Key West, where should we look? I call Paradise Tattoo on Duval. There’s a mannequin there.

BS: There is! I gave that to Jenny. It was one I did in oil and found that it fades like hell. I switched to acrylic. Same with the one at the Peace Store! Now, Whimsy Key West can be found at SALT Gallery — love me some Laura — and at Effusion Gallery on Duval. The mannequin lamp that I had out for Pride Week is now there along with many other pieces they asked for after Effusion’s local artist show. Mailboxes can be found all over the island! Everyone seems to see the one on Olivia Street. Other than that, you have to order on the website and they ship everywhere. The big butterfly just went to South Lake Tahoe yesterday.

KA: Have you any dreams to sell?

BS: Ooh! One of my favorites, Kevin. Players only love you when they’re playing. That’s a no. (Laughs) ¦

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